A Theology of Desire, Love and Marriage

A sketch of a theology of sexual desire, love and marriage.

As we physically mature we come to discover that we desire other human beings. These desires are not intrinsically evil. As aspects of God's creative work they are, in the biblical description, "very good."

However, while desires are not intrinsically evil they are fallen. Our desires are greedy, consumptive, covetous, rivalrous and violent. In a word, our desires are lustful.

The sanctification of our desires is a process of making them cruciform. This occurs in the context of covenant. Covenant is a "school of desire" akin to a spiritual discipline, even a monastic discipline given the relationality of the process, where eros is shaped by fidelity and self-emptying servanthood (kenosis). The daily practices of covenant lead to the divinization of desire, where eros is made chaste, holy, and a participation in the Triune love of God.

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