Billy had a heart attack. And he died.
The bible study at the prison this last Monday night was sober and sad. Billy was an inmate and popular. An excellent guitar player, Billy would often play for the prison worship services.
On Saturday Bill started having trouble in his cell. A female guard called for help and began administering CPR. When the gurney came they placed Billy on it. The guard got on top of Billy and continued to administer CPR, fighting for Billy's life as they raced him to the medical unit. Billy was transported to the local hospital. But they couldn't bring him back.
The next day some of the men in the study, dear friends of Billy, thanked that female guard for what she did. She began to cry and said, "I wish I could have done more." And the prisoners offered her comfort. She did all she could. More than they had expected.
All this was shared at the start of the study. The mood was heavy. And then it was my time to get up and share my lesson. We were starting on the book of Job. But I began by talking about Advent.
I started by contrasting Advent with Christmas. Advent, I explained, is sitting in the experience of exile. Waiting, hoping God will act in the future. We are slaves in Egypt. We are exiles in Babylon. We are sad friends mourning the death of Billy. Where is God? We are waiting. That, I said, is Advent. Learning to be patient, learning to wait on God.
We sang O Come, O Come Emanuel and Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus.
And then we opened our bibles to the book of Job.
Up until this point in the bible, I explained, the story has been governed by a theology of retribution, the "blessings and curses" of Moses (Deut. 11). Do good and stay faithful to God and you will be blessed. Turn to wickedness and idolatry and you will get punishment and exile.
The entry into the Promised Land. Judges followed by kings. Warnings upon warnings about the blessings and curses. Stay faithful. Do not bow to the false gods.
Deaf ears. Hard hearts. The Kingdom divides.
Israel descends into idolatry. Exile.
Judah follows. Exile.
The logic of retribution holds. The righteous are blessed. Sinners are punished. That's how God has set up the world. Bad things happen to bad people.
And then we get to the book of Job.
And an entire theological trajectory--starting in Deuteronomy and traced through 2 Kings--gets knocked off course. Good people are always blessed? Not so fast, says the book of Job.
Job is a man of integrity. And yet he suffers. Chapter after chapter Job's friends argue for the theology of retribution. Job is suffering, so he must have sinned. That's the way the world works. Moses said so.
Job disagrees. He's done nothing wrong. And yet God has cursed him. There is no lawful relationship here between virtue and suffering. Bad things happen to good people. Billy died on Saturday.
So Job waits on God. Waiting for vindication. Waiting for a chance to plead his case. Job wants answers. Waiting.
Like us in the wake of Billy's death.
You know what, I said to the men, as I reflect on it Job is a pretty good book for Advent. We talk about "the patience of Job."
Patience. Waiting on God. That's Job. That's Advent.
That's us.
But in the waiting is also expectation, longing, and hope.
The men share more from the conversation with the female guard who administered CPR to Billy. Billy blessed her, she says through tears.
The men share more from their conversation with the female guard who
stayed with Billy until they took him away in the ambulance. Billy
blessed her, she says through tears.
She shares Billy's last words, shared as they rushed toward the waiting ambulance.
"I am," he tells her, "a man of God."
He tells her this, over and over.
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Richard Beck
Welcome to the blog of Richard Beck, author and professor of psychology at Abilene Christian University (beckr@acu.edu).
The Theology of Faƫrie
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Jesus, You're Making Me Tired: Scarcity and Spiritual Formation
A Progressive Vision of the Benedict Option
George MacDonald
Jesus & the Jolly Roger: The Kingdom of God is Like a Pirate
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- The Kingdom of God as Improv and Flash Mob
- 2012 and the End of the World
- The Polar Express and the Uncanny Valley
- Why the Anti-Christ Is an Idiot
- On Harry Potter and Vampire Movies
I've thought about Matthew 25 lately and Jesus being the least of these. Those in prison being Jesus. Most of us have, at least in our minds, given up on the Billys of this world and instead look for God in the man of God behind the pulpit. No wonder it feels like we're missing something. I'm thankful for these reminders that God still takes up residence in mangers and not the palaces that we've built.
But then again maybe He's just God enough to be with us too. Emmanuel!
*tear* That's a sermon right there.
I was crying when I finished the post.
I'm really tempted to just read this Sunday, and stop working on mine right here.
this is incredible.
this should be spoken from a pulpit. nothing more, nothing less. there is pure Jesus inside of this.
Every single word is beautiful, Richard. Waiting patiently on the Lord has never been my strong suit, but I'm sitting with that this Advent. I feel these men--and the angel guard--sitting with me.
That is beautiful!
"I am," he tells her, "a man of God."
An the Lord said, "Today you will be with me in paradise."
It's interesting to note that other cultures from the areas surrounding Israel (e.g., the Sumerians, Babylonians, and Egyptians) addressed the topic of suffering before the author of Job did and presumably in relation to their own gods (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Job#The_.22Job_motif.22_in_earlier_literature).
It's also worth noting that today, many people don't blame gods for their suffering but simply say it's a part of life.
It's also worth noting that today many more christians are acknowledging that God does bring His followers suffering. Whether the book of Job is a parable or a real life encounter it still means the same thing and for centuries christians have usually missed the meaning or simply don't accept that God brings and/or allows suffering to those who follow Him.
I love how you located Billy's story within the Biblical meta-narrative to interpret its significance for those who were grappling with it. So often we struggle to see how the events of our lives relate to Scripture, but lining them up with Biblical stories guides us in how to feel and understand our experiences in light of how God is at work in redemptive history. Like your prison friends, we ache and grieve and struggle in the middle of the story, but find hope in knowing that our stories are moving towards a glorious resolution. Good perspective. Good reminder.
Richard, I respect and love the way you relate with those in the prison bible study.
I hate to point this out, since it WAS an extremely moving story, but if Billy was talking to the guard, then she should most emphatically not have been doing chest compressions. It's never, never, never the correct thing to do. In fact it's extremely dangerous: aside from the risk of cracking ribs and damaging internal organs, which is always there, compressing a beating hard fights against the heart's own rhythm. It could kill a person.