Why I Want to Go to Hell

When you tell people you believe (or hope for) universal reconciliation the knee jerk reaction is that you don't believe in hell.

Well, I believe in hell. I believe in hell for two reasons.

First, humans have committed horrific evils and the notion that God's wrath isn't kindled in the face of these atrocities is ludicrous. Universalism isn't some sweet, wishy washy, lovey dovey position. Victims demand justice. Evil needs to be punished. I think it very clear that Jesus speaks about God's moral fury in very harsh eschatological language.

But the second and perhaps more shocking reason I believe in hell is because I want to go to hell. I need to go to hell.

Here's the deal. God hates sin. As do I. Hell is the biblical metaphor for this Divine fury. Consequently, I don't want to be saved from the consequences of my sin. I don't want a get out of jail free card. If I am selfish, petty, or vindictive then I want to be free from those sins, not from their consequences. As the Advent readings told us, Jesus came to set us free from sin. Not from hell. Hell is how we get freed from sin. Hell is a mutual participation between God's wrath and my own, directed at those aspects of my life that are stupid, selfish or shameful. I hate it when I act like a jerk to my children or family or anyone else. And that hatred is a participation in the wrath of God, a participation in hell. And this wrath isn't self-loathing, depressive or neurotic. It's the simple and healthy recognition that I have moral work to do in my life. And anger is a wonderfully motivating emotion. I believe in hell because I need it. We all need it. And the worst thing you could tell me is that I'd be rescued from it.

I don't want to live in eternity as I am right now. I don't want God to see Jesus when he sees me. I want God to see me, honestly, in all my sin and failure. True, God will be upset with that vision. As am I. God's grace is the fact that God won't destroy me for these failures, God will not treat me according to my sin. Jesus died for me, loved me, while I was a sinner. That much is clear. So grace isn't the removal of consequences. It is, rather, the notion that consequences aren't the issue anymore. God is on my side. He always has been. It's unconditional love. With that out of the way this means God and I can get on with the business of fighting the sin in my life. Being perfect as my heavenly Father is perfect. And God and I do this together. That's why hell is a manifestation of God's grace. Hell is a partnership, the hard and often hellish work God and I do together to help me conform to the image of Christ.

This is, obviously, a odd view of hell. But it is simply the logic of the parenting metaphors in the bible, that God is a loving Father. All parents want their children to move from extrinsic to intrinsic motives in their moral development. That is, early in life the threat of pain (e.g., a spanking) keeps me on the straight and narrow. An aversive consequence from the outside motivates me. But, as we all know, if I stay stuck with these external motivations I fail to develop into a decent person. I'll only do good for a reward and I'll only avoid vice because I might get caught. What we want from our children is for them to shift from these extrinsic motivations toward intrinsic motives. We want our children to start doing good for issues associated with identity, character, and joy. We want them to good because they want to, not because they have to.

In my comments about hell above I'm making a similar argument. As long as hell remains an extrinsic motivator, an external consequence, then our moral development remains stagnant. The same goes for heaven. And we all know this. Trying to be good to "go to heaven" always strikes self-reflective people as ridiculous.

In short, we need to move hell from the extrinsic to the intrinsic. I shouldn't fear hell like a child fears a spanking. Rather, as I spiritually grow I internalize hell, I participate in the wrath of God, living by its logic. Further, as a child grows morally his goal isn't to escape punishment but to face the consequences of his choices courageously and with integrity. And, yes, if you've ever faced up to the messes you've made in life, that experience is hell. In AA it's called the 12 Steps.

Is this works-based righteousness? No. I can't do it myself. I need grace. I need hell.

Praise be to God.