Sex and Dirty Dishes

Every semester I tell this story to my Introduction to Psychology class. It is by far the most popular story I tell. And I think the guys, in particular, need to hear it. I thought I'd share it with you out in front of Valentine's Day.

Awhile back Jana, the boys and I are driving home. It's late. The end of a long day. As we drive through the dark streets I hear Jana let out a tired sigh.

"You okay?" I ask.

"I'm just exhausted," Jana starts, "I didn't get the dishes done last night after dinner. I shopped today and didn't get a chance to put the groceries up. So there bags all over the kitchen. Plus the house is a wreck. I'm just not looking forward to walking into the house and seeing the mess."

We get home and, yes, the house is a wreck. Dirty dishes in the sink. Grocery bags needing to get unpacked. A house to be picked up.

Jana helps the boys get ready for bed and goes to tuck them in and help them say their prayers.

And I, and this doesn't speak well of me, decide to do something unusual while Jana is in the bedroom: I go into the kitchen and start to do the dishes.

Soon Jana comes back and sees me.

"Sweetie, you don't have to do that," She says.

"No, I don't help enough. You rest and let me finish these."

But she doesn't rest. She comes up beside me to help. I wash. She dries. And we visit about our day. Suddenly, washing the dishes becomes the best moment of our day.

As we finish Jana offers the following assessment: "You know, I wouldn't say you doing the dishes for me is better than sex...but it's close."

I laugh and laugh. "I understand," I say, "You know, I bet if we called all your friends tonight and asked them the question, 'Would you rather have sex with your husband tonight or have him wash the dishes?' that 100% would say 'Wash the dishes.'"

She agrees. But I have a crazy idea. "Let's put this to the test!" I say, "Let's call your friends and pose the question."

So Jana starts making calls. Asking wife after wife the question: "If you could have sex with your husband tonight or have him do the dishes what would you choose?"

The results rolled in. Like election night.

And the verdict?

100%

"Do the dishes."