The Midrash of R. Crumb: Part 4, The MPAA Rating of the Bible

If we were to give the bible a parental advisory rating what rating would we give it?

To help, here are the rating descriptions from the Motion Picture Association of America:

Rated G: All Ages Permitted
A G-rated motion picture contains nothing in theme, language, nudity, sex, violence or other matters that, in the view of the Rating Board, would offend parents whose younger children view the motion picture. The G rating is not a "certificate of approval," nor does it signify a "children’s" motion picture. Some snippets of language may go beyond polite conversation but they are common everyday expressions. No stronger words are present in G-rated motion pictures. Depictions of violence are minimal. No nudity, sex scenes or drug use are present in the motion picture.

Rated PG: Parental Guidance Suggested. Some Material May Not Be Suitable For Children.
A PG-rated motion picture should be investigated by parents before they let their younger children attend. The PG rating indicates, in the view of the Rating Board, that parents may consider some material unsuitable for their children, and parents should make that decision. The more mature themes in some PG-rated motion pictures may call for parental guidance. There may be some profanity and some depictions of violence or brief nudity. But these elements are not deemed so intense as to require that parents be strongly cautioned beyond the suggestion of parental guidance. There is no drug use content in a PG-rated motion picture.

Rated R: Children Under 17 Require Accompanying Parent or Adult Guardian
An R-rated motion picture, in the view of the Rating Board, contains some adult material. An R-rated motion picture may include adult themes, adult activity, hard language, intense or persistent violence, sexually-oriented nudity, drug abuse or other elements, so that parents are counseled to take this rating very seriously. Children under 17 are not allowed to attend R-rated motion pictures unaccompanied by a parent or adult guardian. Parents are strongly urged to find out more about R-rated motion pictures in determining their suitability for their children. Generally, it is not appropriate for parents to bring their young children with them to R-rated motion pictures.

Rated NC-17: No One 17 and Under Admitted
An NC-17 rated motion picture is one that, in the view of the Rating Board, most parents would consider patently too adult for their children 17 and under. No children will be admitted. NC-17 does not mean "obscene" or "pornographic" in the common or legal meaning of those words, and should not be construed as a negative judgment in any sense. The rating simply signals that the content is appropriate only for an adult audience. An NC-17 rating can be based on violence, sex, aberrational behavior, drug abuse or any other element that most parents would consider too strong and therefore off-limits for viewing by their children.

Now when we read the Old Testament we don't, generally speaking, have to worry much about the "parental rating" of a given story. The text can be pretty bland. Consider the following:

Genesis 2.25
The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Genesis 4.8
Now Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let's go out to the field." And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

Genesis 19.24-25
Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the LORD out of the heavens. Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land.

But somewhat less bland is this:

Genesis 19.30-36
Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. One day the older daughter said to the younger, "Our father is old, and there is no man around here to lie with us, as is the custom all over the earth. Let's get our father to drink wine and then lie with him and preserve our family line through our father."

That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and lay with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

The next day the older daughter said to the younger, "Last night I lay with my father. Let's get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and lie with him so we can preserve our family line through our father." So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went and lay with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

So both of Lot's daughters became pregnant by their father.

Now imagine you had Crumb's task of illustrating each of these scenes. How would you go about doing it? Euphemistically? Realistically?

Recall, the cover of Crumb's The Book of Genesis Illustrated has the twin warnings (or invitations?):

Adult Supervision Recommended for Minors

The First Book of the Bible Graphically Depicted! Nothing Left Out!

So you wouldn't be surprised, I guess, if I told you that Crumb tends toward the MPAA Rated-R in his illustrations of Genesis. It's not over the top, but there are scenes of "persistent violence" and "sexually-oriented nudity." Here are Crumb's illustrations for three of the texts above (I've imported them small to provide you with some visual protection, click, if you must, for larger views):

Genesis 2.25
The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.


Genesis 4.8
Now Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let's go out to the field." And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.


Genesis 19.24-25
Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the LORD out of the heavens. Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land.


Out of modesty I've not chosen to post the pictures of Lot and his daughters. You need some reason to buy the book, right? (Plus, if you look, you can find them on the Internet.)

Here's my question in all this: What is the MPAA rating for Genesis? You can generally avoid this question when you read the story. You can read over words like "naked," "killed," or "lay with him" pretty quickly and not conjure up any of the associated images. But the minute you try to visualize the story, scene by scene, the Bible suddenly becomes (or can become) very graphic. No doubt this is why Crumb found the Bible to be such interesting material.

And here, once again, we find in Crumb's visual Midrash, this filling in of the details we tend to leave sanitized or blank, just how strange the Bible can be. The Bible is not the book we think it is. It's definitely not the book we use in church and Sunday School classes. That book is rated G.

The Bible's rating? Well, that's an interesting question, isn't it?