Dear Lord, can atheists
suffer with the problem of pain?
Or are you necessary for that?
Do you exist
so that we might scream at you,
reject,
and come to disbelieve in you?
Can we weep in lamenting
without you?
Because nothing is wrong
without you.
You are the ingredient
necessary to make the mess.
You are the prerequisite of sadness,
of sobs in pillows at night.
So I need you, Sweet Lord,
if I want to scream at sky
that things shouldn't be this way.
That is my prayer
and judgment.
Each needing you to listen
and exist.
Welcome to the blog of Richard Beck, professor and experimental psychologist at Abilene Christian University (brief vita).
Richard is the author of Unclean and The Authenticity of Faith. Experimental Theology is also available on the Kindle."...tour de force..."
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The Little Way of St. Thérèse of Lisieux
The William Stringfellow Project (Ongoing)
Autobiographical Posts
- Subversion and Shame: I Like the Color Pink
- The Bureaucrat
- Uncle Richard, Vampire Hunter
- Freedom Fellowship
- Palm Sunday with the Orhtodox
- Looking Like Jesus (or a Crazy Person)
- Freedom Rider
- On Maps and Marital Spats
- Get on a Bike...and Go Slow
- Buying a Bible
- Memento Mori
- We Weren't as Good as the Muppets
- Uncle Richard and the Shark
- Growing Up Catholic
- Ghostbusting (Part 1)
- Ghostbusting (Part 2)
- My Eschatological Dog
- Meditations on Y'all
- Tex Mex and Depression Era Cuisine
- Aliens at Roswell
- Driving to Pizza House
On the Principalities and Powers
- Christian Anarchism
- A Restless Patriotism
- Wink on Exorcism
- Images of God Against Empire
- A Boredom Revolution
- The Medal of St. Benedict
- Exorcisms are about Economics
- "Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?"
- "A Home for Demons...and the Merchants Weep"
- Tales of the Demonic
- The Ethic of Death: The Policies and Procedures Manual
- "All That Are Here Are Humans"
- Ears of Stone
- The War Prayer
- Letter from a Birmingham Jail
Blog Sermons
From the Prison Bible Study
Series/Essays Based on my Research
- Death and Christian Art, Part 1
- Death and Christian Art, Interlude
- Death and Christian Art, Part 2
- Death and Christian Art, Part 3
- Profanity
- Satan and the Emotional Burden of Monotheism
- Death, Gnosticism and the Incarnation
- Summer and Winter Christians
- Sinning in Your Heart
- Quest Religious Orientation
- Satan as a Functional Theodicy
- Attachment to God
- PostSecret, Part 1
- PostSecret, Part 2
- PostSecret, Part 3
- PostSecret, Part 4
- PostSecret, Part 5
The Theology of Calvin and Hobbes
The Theology of Peanuts
The Angel of the iPhone
Reflections on Gender and the Church
- Call No Man on Earth Father
- Head Coverings: Why Female Hair is a Testicle
- A Letter to My Church on Women's Roles
- Pragmatics or Power in Patriarchy?
- Whores: A Meditation on Gender and the Bible
- On Masculine Christianity and Powerplays
- Thoughts on Mark Driscoll While I'm Knitting
- Ambivalent Sexism
- Direct Your Hearts to Her
- Gender, Submission and Ecosystems of Abuse
The Snake Handling Churches of Appalachia
How Facebook Killed the Church
Blogging about the Bible
- Adam's First Wife
- I Am a Worm
- Christus Victor in the Lord's Prayer
- Let Them Both Grow Together
- Repent
- Here I Am
- Becoming the Jubilee
- Sermon on the Mount: Study Guide
- Treat Them as a Pagan or Tax Collector
- Going Outside the Camp
- Welcoming Children
- The Song of Lamech and the Song of the Lamb
- The Nephilim
- Shaming Jesus
- Pseudepigrapha and the Christian Witness
- The Exclusion and Inclusion of Eunuchs
- The Second Moses
- The New Manna
- Salvation in the First Sermons of the Church
- "A Bloody Husband"
- Song of the Vineyard
- The Jubilee
Bonhoeffer's Letters from Prision
Civil Rights Family Trip
Hip Christianity
Demons and The Powers
- Part 1: Thinking about Demons
- Part 2: Evil and Illness in Modernity
- Part 3: Evil as Residual
- Part 4: The Language of The Powers
- Part 5: The Angels of the Nations
- Part 6: Yoder on The Powers
- Part 7: The Spirituality of The Powers
- Part 8: The Inner Aspect of Material Power
- Part 9: Stringfellow on The Powers
- Part 10: Demons in the Gosples
Judas
The Midrash of R. Crumb
Theology and Evolutionary Psychology
- Prelude: Galileo's Dilemma
- Part 1: Natural and Sexual Selection
- Part 2: On the Sweet Tooth (and Morality as Dieting)
- Interlude: Emoticons
- Part 3: Evolution and Human Sexuality
- Part 4: Sexual Jealousy
- Part 5: Kin Selection and Family Values
- Part 6: The Storge to Xenia Shift
- Part 7: Reciprocity
- Part 8: Moralistic Aggression
Scripture and Discernment
- Biblical as Sociological Stress Test
- Cookie Cutting the Bible: A Case Study
- Pawn to King 4
- Allowing God to Rage
- Poetry of a Murderer
- On Christian Communion: Killing vs. Sexuality
- Heretics and Disagreement
- Atonement: A Primer
- "The Bible says..."
- The "Yes, but..." Church
- Human Experience and the Bible
- Discernment, Part 1
- Discernment, Part 2
- Rabbinic Hedges
- Fuzzy Logic
Interacting with Good Books
- Are Christians Hate-Filled Hypocrites?
- Christ and Horrors
- The King Jesus Gospel
- Insurrection
- The Bible Made Impossible
- The Deliverance of God
- To Change the World
- Sexuality and the Christian Body
- I Told Me So
- The Teaching of the Twelve
- Evolving in Monkey Town
- Saved from Sacrifice: A Series
- Darwin's Sacred Cause
- Outliers
- Evil in Modern Thought, Part 1
- Evil in Modern Thought, Part 2
- Evil in Modern Thought, Part 3
- The Black Swan, Part 1
- The Black Swan, Part 2
- Rapture Ready!
- A Secular Age
- The God Who Risks
- I Am a Strange Loop, Part 1
- I Am a Strange Loop, Part 2
- I Am a Strange Loop, Part 3
- I Am a Strange Loop, Part 4
- I Am a Strange Loop, Part 5
- The Evolution of Cooperation
- Evil
- On Apology
Moral Psychology
- Ethnocentrism and Politics
- Flies, Attention and Morality
- The Banality of Evil
- Regarding Sex
- The Ovens at Buchenwald
- Violence and Traffic Lights
- Defending Individualism
- Guilt and Atonement
- The Varieties of Love and Hate
- The Wicked
- Moral Foundations
- Primum non nocere
- The Moral Emotions
- The Moral Circle, Part 1
- The Moral Circle, Part 2
- Taboo Psychology
- The Morality of Mentality
- Moral Conviction
- Infrahumanization
- Holiness and Moral Grammars
Experiments in Quantitative Ecclesiology
The Theology of Everyday Life
- Hating Pixels
- Dress, Divinity and Dumbfounding
- The Kingdom of God Will Not Be Tweeted
- Tickling
- Tattoos
- The Ethics of :-)
- On Snobbery
- Jokes
- The F-word
- Hypocrisy
- Can you sin on a deserted island?
- Ironic Christians
- Everything I learned about life I learned coaching tee-ball
- Gossip, Part 1: The Food of the Brain
- Gossip, Part 2: Evolutionary Stable Strategies
- Gossip, Part 3: The Pay it Forward World
- Sinning in Your Heart?, Part 1: The Morality of Mentality
- Moral Progress, Part 1
- Moral Progress, Part 2
- Human Nature
- Welcome
- On Humility
Dogmatism & Doubt: Curing the Religious Disease
Sticky Theology (Why is Bad Theology so Popular?)
Universal Reconciliation
- Holiness in Heaven?
- Universalism and the New Perspective on Paul
- A Googolplexian Hell
- The Best Ending to the Christian Story: An Exchange with Daniel Kirk
- Universalism and the Bondage of the Will
- Universalism and the Prophetic Imagination
- Universalism and Theodicy
- Universalism FAQ & Answers
- Universalism: A Summary Defense
- Why I Am a Universalist Series (and Resources)
George MacDonald
Alone, Suburban & Sorted
The Theology of Monsters
Original Sin: A New View
The Theology of Ugly
Orthodox Iconography
A Walk with William James
- Part 1: The Jamesian Situation
- Part 2: Habit
- Part 3: Belief as Vote
- Part 4: Pragmatism and the Emerging Church
- Part 5: Theology is a Fork
- Part 6: Ontological Emotion
- Part 7: Religious Surrender
- Part 8: Introverts at Church
- Part 9: Bubbles in the Sun
- Part 10: Ghostbusting
- Part 11: The Empirical Trace
- Part 12: Saintliness
Preparing for the Cartesian Storm (Free Will & Souls in the Age of Neuroscience)
Musings On Faith, Belief, and Doubt
- Cheap Praise and Costly Praise
- god
- Wired to Suffer
- A New Apologetics
- Orthodox Alexithymia
- High and Low: The Psalms and Suffering
- The Buddhist Phase
- Skilled Christianity
- The Two Families of God
- The Bait and Switch of Contemporary Christianity
- Evil and Evolution: Thoughts on Enns and Smith
- Theodicy and No Country for Old Men
- Doubt: A Diagnosis
- Faith and Modernity
- Faith after "The Cognitive Turn"
- Salvation
- The Gifts of Doubt
- A Beautiful Life
- Is Santa Claus Real?
- The Feeling of Knowing
- Practicing Christianity
- In Praise of Doubt
- Skepticism and Conviction
- Pragmatic Belief
- N-Order Complaint and Need for Cognition
The Theology of Humor
Game Theory and the Kingdom of God
Holiday Musings
- A Christmas Carol as Resistance Literature: Part 1
- A Christmas Carol as Resistance Literature: Part 2
- It's Still Christmas
- Easter Shouldn't Be Good News
- The Deeper Magic: A Good Friday Meditation
- Palm Sunday with the Orthodox
- Growing Up Catholic: A Lenten Meditation
- The Liturgical Year for Dummies
- "Watching Their Flocks at Night": An Advent Meditation
- Pentecost and Babel
- Epiphany
- Ambivalence about Lent
- On Easter and Astronomy
- Christmas & TV, Part 1: The Grinch
- Christmas & TV, Part 2: Misfits
- Christmas & TV, Part 3: Charlie Brown
- Sex Sandals and Advent
- Freud and Valentine's Day
- Existentialism and Halloween
- Halloween Redux: Talking with the Dead
The Offbeat
- Jesus Would Be a Hufflepuff
- The Moral Example of Captain Jack Sparrow
- Weddings Real, Imagined and Yet to Come
- Michelangelo and Neuroanatomy
- Believing in Bigfoot
- The Kingdom of God as Improv and Flash Mob
- 2012 and the End of the World
- Chocolate Jesus
- The Polar Express and the Uncanny Valley
- Why the Anti-Christ Is an Idiot
- On Harry Potter and Vampire Movies

Omnipotent and benevolent? And all manner of things shall be well?
O what thorny theological knots with which we bind ourselves...
Brilliant. BTW, I had a whole semester class on "The Problem of Pain" and kept asking myself--do things get better if we REMOVE our belief in God from the equation? My answer: not really.
This is not only my favorite of your poems, it's now a favorite of mine of all poems I've come across.
Just read this Hopkins' poem for class. Is it legal to post a whole poem? If not, my apologies, but it makes such a nice companion piece to "Theodicy."
Carrion ComfortNot, I'll not, carrion comfort, Despair, not feast on thee;Not untwist — slack they may be — these last strands of manIn me ór, most weary, cry I can no more. I can;Can something, hope, wish day come, not choose not to be.But ah, but O thou terrible, why wouldst thou rude on meThy wring-world right foot rock? lay a lionlimb against me? scanWith darksome devouring eyes my bruisèd bones? and fan,O in turns of tempest, me heaped there; me frantic to avoid thee and flee? Why? That my chaff might fly; my grain lie, sheer and clear.Nay in all that toil, that coil, since (seems) I kissed the rod,Hand rather, my heart lo! lapped strength, stole joy, would laugh, chéer.Cheer whom though? the hero whose heaven-handling flung me, fóot tródMe? or me that fought him? O which one? is it each one? That night, that yearOf now done darkness I wretch lay wrestling with (my God!) my God.
It's grotesque and provocative. It's true and false. Do we scream at God, or at our own failure to reconcile? Is God the source of our pain, or the balm for it? How on earth can we ever find resolve attempting to fit an Absolute in our relative lives? Or, to fit our relative lives in an absolute? There is pain there, and there is pain in a total rejection of SOME absolute. That's my experience, anyway.
"He needs to learn that he can't take the world on his shoulders."
The comment's irony--from a christian boss I had in college about a fellow christian employee--has lain on my mind like oil on water for thirty years, being half true and half false, and deriving its halves from separate points of view.
Your little poem shook those halves enough to mix them, I think:
For if tears for the world depict a God's-eye view, doesn't Jesus emerge as the divine response in human form? And if Jesus emerges as the divine response in human form, am I not a sinner? Yes, and yes.
"That is my prayer and judgment."
Thanks, Richard.
This is the best argument for atheism I have ever read
Experimental, but not theology!
http://www.energon.org.uk
Except for the fact that it's a poem.
gorgeous.
I was thinking of becoming a Christian again, but after reading this I have decided I better not. Thanks.
Yes, because we all know nobody ever uses a poem to try to make an argument.
And I was thinking of becoming an atheist, and decided not. Thanks.
Okay, then let me hear the argument I'm making. What is it exactly?
I like this.
Emptiness
That obliges me, myself to choose and invent
Blank canvas that gives me despair and hope
In unequal measures on different days
Do those with a God/Gods/Religion
Or just a satisfaction with the emptiness
Know doubt?
Know excitement?
Without you I would feel
I was trying to breathe into a sheet of ice
Or walking forward into a wall;
I couldn't move.
Because nothing can happen without you.
Anybody else get the feeling that all of Bill's posts could be visually summarized by this look?
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/bill-maher-npr-federal-funding-169334
who should I blame for my suffering?
who should be called to account for my pain?
to whom should I sue for redress
for my body's inevitable decline
for the death that surrounds me
for the death that reminds me
that my own death is nearing, nearing, nearing,
continually closer than it ever was before?
who taught me to blame?
from whom did I learn to accuse?
was it a great accuser, a divine accuser
from whom I have learned to forget the present
from whom I have learned to ignore this moment
with constant concern for a future that does not yet exist?
why do I find fault with the way the world works
why do I desire a person or Person to fault for the natural failure of life over time
for the faltering breath of every living thing since the beginning of all living things
why do I blame; why do I fault;
for what bitter end do I try to accuse?
a moment, this moment, is mine, and yours
and this moment too, and the next one
this one, is precious to me,
is beautiful to experience, especially,
if I spend it in love or beauty or kindness,
if I spend it, this moment,
with abandon,
no hoarding, no saving, no straining for a future unfulfilled,
but spent in the now,
in the only moment that exists for me and for you,
until this moment,
or this one,
takes over and offers something new,
can this be enough?
even in pain, or discomfort, or sadness,
can this be enough?
perhaps blame is the illusion that obscures the beauty of the moments we have
“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.” Mark Twain
Ouch!
I still check in once in awhile, even though I left Christianity a year or so ago. I lean towards deism-yet I believe I am becoming more agnostic. You will be happy to know I do not want to "de-convert" my family , friends , you or your fans. They still need to believe in an afterlife and theistic god. Such cultural beliefs provide relief from the fear of death.Your past series on Becker was enlightening as terror management theory has long been an interest to me!
I am glad I caught your latest poem and I empathize with your struggle, Richard. If I may, I would like to reduce your beautiful poem to its core essence : "God, I cannot reconcile my Christian belief in your existence with natural disasters, violence, and selfishness-all unaffected by prayer. Have we invented your existence to cope with the brutal reality of our existence?" Please correct my interpretation if assumes too much.
It's a poem, so it's open to an particular and individual interpretation.
But for me the core essence isn't about reconciling the existence of God with suffering but, rather, the necessity of God's existence to call suffering "a problem."
Note the first lines (emphasis added):
Dear Lord, can atheists
suffer with the problem of pain?
Or are you necessary for that?
Richard, in less poetic terms, I've heard this same theme from William Lane Craig. Christian apologists complain that atheists cannot argue the "problem of pain", because without a God, there is no theological problem of pain.
To which atheists simply sigh, smile, and say, "exactly."
I think that's the case, though not being an atheist I'd hate to presume, that there is no "problem" with the cosmos.
And to be clear, the poem doesn't have atheism in the crosshairs. It's a reflection from the inside of the faith. Because, as you point out, atheists agree with what I'm saying here, smiling and saying exactly.
That helps to clarify, thanks.
A real Psalm. The key seems to be the lines "because nothing is wrong without you." It's a peculiar reality that the world seems equally problematic with and without God - and what that reveals to me is that God is not the variable that needs to change.
I'm an atheist who comes to your site because I enjoy reading your posts. I feel like they are deeply thought-out and spiritually truthful parts of you coming out on the page, and a lot of wisdom. So I'm coming not to combat your poem (because that would be silly - it's your poem, you can say whatever you want) but instead to ask: why do you feel like atheism comes from a place of no emotion? Our scema is still human, the frailty and suffering is not lost just because there is no God to ease the pain of suffering. To me, it makes it more intense because there is no place of spiritual balm, of eternity, to look forward to laying down the burdens.
Am I reading your poem wrong? I really do enjoy your work, but since this is coming from a different line of thought than I usually see here, I'm not sure I'm understanding it.
The title of the poem should be your hint. Theodicy is the theological effort to deal with the "problem" of pain. The poem is asking a question: is seeing pain as a "problem" a form of religious belief?
Here's another way to approach what I'm doing. I'm playing with an inversion. Classically, theodicy works with a sequence that goes like this: You believe in God first and that belief creates a problem (the problem of pain). But might the reverse be true? You experience pain as a problem which means you believe in God.
Thank you for your response. I think I was not seeing the problem of pain - I honestly didn't realize that was a thing until now. I will think about that for a while.