Before we get to that contrast, however, we have to start with the recognition that we are, in fact, dependent. Sin flows out of a denial of this reality, opting for the lie of self-sufficiency. As Williams observes, we fear dependence:
Dependence in human affairs is one of the most complex of subjects. We are afraid of it – both because of the diseased relationships that go with unbalanced dependence and, more deeply, because of the strong attraction of the human psyche towards the ‘illusion of omnipotence’, or at least the illusion of being an individual, self-regulating system.
So we have to admit and embrace our dependence. But as Williams observes above, this dependence makes us vulnerable to the needs and demands of others. We need others, but they also need us, and this economy of dependence isn't always balanced, mutual, or healthy. There are asymmetries of power, there is pathology. All of which makes dependency a very risky business. As Williams observes:
The commerce in which we establish our identities is risky because we are also becoming the raw material of other identities...there is the possibility of becoming instrumental to the self-formation of another person or group in a way which finally does not allow me to be seen as an agent and a giver. Even if I recognise the basic character of my need, that will not save me from falling victim to the rapacity of another who still conceives the human task as the exploitation of an environment to confirm the illusion of individuality. What offers to give me meaning and security also threatens to lay unacceptable claim upon me. So, when I have made the breakthrough into acknowledging the impossibility of creating an independent self out of my own will, when I have grasped that my being as agent depends on my receiving first, my being there, spoken to, acted on, I can still not be assured of my liberty to act or give because of the risk that I will be conscripted into the project of another.
Williams labels this endless cycle of dependence in human relations "limitless dependence," and limitless not in a good way. As Williams describes above, this circular network of dependency is perennially prone to distortion and pathology. Depending upon dependent people always puts us at risk of becoming "raw material" for people seeking to use us to establish their own identities. Depending upon the dependent and seeking to have your needs met by needy people is never going to be a safe. Which is why we'd rather go it alone and attempt the impossible: self-sufficiency.
In sort, we need to recognize our dependency but the limitless network of human dependency can't be the ultimate, final answer. So, does that mean we are we doomed? Doomed to be caught between the lie of self-sufficiency or the endless risk of human dependency?
