I try to help, but it's hard. Our histories, personalities, and circumstances are so different. There's a particular chemistry that happens with one person that can't be replicated in another. The ingredients are just different, leading to a different chemical reaction.
But here's something I've noticed over the years, something that is rarely talked about.
Basically, a lot of faith and church problems are really mental health problems.
For example, someone is sharing their story with me about drifting away from God and/or the church. And as the person describes their life--thought processes, behaviors, mood, etc.--a realization comes to me: This person is describing a faith crisis, but what I'm hearing is depression. Another person describes having troubling finding a church, but what I'm hearing are symptoms of social anxiety.
I also know so many people who report having a "faith crisis" but who actually have a drinking problem. Or they are going through a divorce, or some other huge life crisis.
My point in bringing this up isn't to blame the person. I'm just trying to point out that a lot of our faith problems aren't really faith problems, so working the problem at that level isn't going to change anything. We're just psychologically in a really bad place, and that affects how we see and feel about everything. God and church included. If you're depressed, for example, even a warm, healthy church is going to leave you cold.
Often, the best thing you can do for your relationship with God and the church is to spend some time getting well.
