That such obvious truths about guilt and shame need to be pointed out goes to our therapeutic culture, where any negative emotional state is considered to be pathological. To feel "bad" in any way is deemed unhealthy. If we feel negative emotions the recommendation is to engage in "self-care" to return to a state of inner peace and tranquility. One of these practices is mindfulness.
As you know, mindfulness is everywhere now. Practicing being aware, grounded, and present is a powerful tool in dealing with stress and negative emotions. Consequently, practicing mindfulness is a widely recommended self-care intervention. Back when I was in graduate school a professor of mine called relaxation training "the aspirin of therapy" because it helped with just about everything. Mindfulness, as the newest version of relaxation therapy, is similar: it helps with just about everything.
But not, it seems, when it comes to social repair.
Again, if the negative emotions of guilt and shame exist to prompt moral and relational work, what happens if, through self-care techniques, we dampen and escape these emotions? What are the consequences of using mindfulness to dissipate guilt and shame?
As I recount in The Shape of Joy, a series of studies done by the psychologists Andrew Hafenbrack, Matthew LaPalme, and Isabelle Solal have shown that mindfulness, by reducing guilt and shame, interfere with social repair. Basically, mindfulness subverts making amends when we've failed or hurt others. This should make sense. If guilt and shame are the emotions that prompt social repair, then using self-care techniques to avoid these emotions would undermine the behaviors these emotions were motivating and encouraging. As I point out in The Shape of Joy, the pursuit of self-care can undermine assumption of our moral duties and responsibilities. Sometimes we need to let guilt and shame do their proper work in our lives.
